Last night I took the Macro 500 Gummies by Psilouette. I ate the entire bottle of gummies (very tasty) all at once over the course of about 10 minutes.
My intention after saying a prayer was to lay in silence, to meditate, and feel - to analyze where my thoughts and emotions took me without stimuli for about two hours and then to guide my mind with an inspiring story for hours 2-4 of the trip, then to meditate again before eating an enjoyable meal around hour 5 or 6, saying a prayer, and going to bed.
I was struggling with some things personally. Candidly, I’d been feeling like i was in a bit of a funk. Life, opportunity, responsibility all felt like scary suddenly. People and relationships felt like threats. People I had recognized for friends now felt untrustworthy. In many ways I felt downright betrayed. In other cases I felt abandoned. In some ways both.
The thing about a strong mushroom trip, at least for me, if I’m going through a rough patch in life especially - is that it REALLY can bring those scary emotions to the forefront. In fact, for me i suppose, that is what is so therapeutic about the mushroom experience. For me, whatever I am feeling most genuinely (consciously or subconsciously) comes to the forefront, and I must face it head on - in all its exaggerated forms.
It’s an absolutely frightening thing. Or it can be. So for me, it’s important I point out to anyone looking to do this themselves: DO NOT ACT ON YOUR THOUGHTS WHEN IN A MAGIC MUSHROOM TRIP, especially an intense trip. (Take notes on them, sure, but DON’T ACT.) Because the emotions can be strong, very strong. For me, if I am feeling like no one loves me and that I don’t even know if I love myself, magic mushroooms may intensify that awful feeling so greatly. And facing that, one must decide how to deal with those thoughts - to fight those thoughts, correct those thoughts, organize those thoughts, re-perspective those thoughts, discard those thoughts once and for all and move on to new challenges, slay those dragons and move on to others….
Within 15 minutes I could feel the gummies kick in, by 20 minutes they were kicking in so hard I practically HAD to lay down (which I did with a blanket and a pillow I had set out on my bed). Within 45 minutes I was practically in a coma of deep and vivid introspection.
I could feel my emotions tensing and releasing throughout the muscles and organs of my body. Deep pain of emotional hurt in my right hip and intestines adjacent. Fear, rejection, abandonment, betrayal, anger and loss all came to the surface. I felt like I was having to talk to myself to maintain an inner strength and positive outlook, lest fall into a spiral of negativity and fear. i found myself telling myself: hang in there, you can do this, I love you, I believe in you, I know you have what it takes, I know you’re worthy. My inner monologue was screaming. I went and stood in a mirror and said those things out loud. I said them until I felt like I needed to lay down. I went to the living room couch in front of the big tv. Hour two had ended and it was movie time.
For a movie I had decided I wanted something positive yet deep, something that touched on elements of the journey I was experiencing in my own life. I also knew I wanted to watch something I knew well, but something I hadn’t watched in a very, very long time. I had left this for a game time decision, and despite the inebriation of the magic mushroom gummies, I was able to navigate my Roku remote control to pull up The Wizard Of Oz.
From the moment of the MGM lion’s roar, I was engrossed in the film. First in the black and white early plot, and then was taken magically into the technicolor world of Oz, all visuals intensified and seemingly brought to life in my surf shop mini theater. The surfboards hanging from the walls and rafters, already glowing in the surf shop’s neon LEDs, now reflected the images on the 70 inch screen. The green grass of the movie scene’s background blended with the thick AstroTurf carpet on the surf shop floor. Characters seemed to dance across the room.
The villainous witch appeared time and again in horrendous green, eerily recognizable as the nosy and problematic neighbor in the film’s black and white introductory scenes. The lady who had claimed to be bit by Dorothy’s dog in scene one has transformed in the world of Oz to the green evil witch out to torture them. At first on her own just with Toto, she begins her Odyssey along the Yellow Brick Road to meet the Wizard to solve all their problems.
The Wizard, of course, turns out to bear a strikingly familiar resemblance to the snake oil salesman Dorothy meets in the black and white preamble, just before she meets the soon to be witch. It turns out that the wizard is just a man running a fabulous machine of smoke and mirrors from behind a curtain, which Toto the dog reveals by pulling open the curtain with his teeth. But once found out, the Wizard has empathy for Dorothy and her three friends, and bestows upon them the magic behind the tricks he uses as the Wizard of the Land of Oz: in short, the trick he uses is positive thinking. When each of the characters tells the Wizard their problems, he says they aren’t really problems at all, but “disorganized thoughts.” He changes the characters perspectives and change’s their self image… then he get caught in his own hot air balloon and get swept away saying “farewell” to the magical land of Oz over which he presides while admitting he can’t stop his hot air balloon because “I don’t know how it works.”
And so, I don’t want to spoil it for you, but you probably already know, Dorothy taps her heels together and says some magic words… and then she is back to Kansas and surrounded by familiar faces - but in black and white. And she remembers things both “terrifying” but “mostly fantastic.”
The film has some fabulous lines of summation. At one point at the end, the scarecrow says to Dorothy, “What did you learn Dorothy?”
And she responds, as if answering in a miss America pageant: “Well, I guess I learned… If I ever go looking for my heart’s desire again, don’t look further than my own backyard. Because if it isn’t there, I never really lost it in the first place.”
For the next hour I laid in silence contemplating the film and my own experience. There was something going on in my life, something I was going through, some “disorganized thinking” wherein familiar characters from my life were reappearing as villains, showing deceitful and duplicitous side. I was feeling scared and confused. I was on some yellow brick road of my own, searching for some mystic answer, tricked by a conman, deceived by a witch. Somewhere mixed into it all I had become filled with the venom of fear and anger toward everyone I felt had or may have or would betray me - from my father to my friends to anyone I met to date or do business with. But inside of us there are brains and a heart and courage, which working together create a different life and a different perspective altogether.
As I conclude this product and experience review, I think it’s worth exploring how valuable or valid a mushroom trip can be - or whether it is valuable at all? Is it really no different than getting drunk? Would one be better off talking to a therapist for 6 hours or journaling, or working out, or working a job for pay? Is a mushroom trip thereauptically beneficial at all?
I personally conclude that a mushroom trip in the very least is not at all harmful - not to the mind, the body or the spirit. The same can’t be said for alcohol or most other “drugs” (if you consider mushrooms to be drugs). I contend that the enhanced depth of emotions and introspection can be deeply beneficial, especially when one has the intention to heal, learn, understand, grow, and move forward through life. Furthermore, I think compared to other hallucinogenic or inebriating substances, mushroom have little negative consequences. Overdosing is near impossible and the body naturally digests and tolerates the plant. At a certain point the user can get no more “high” and the substance loses its effectiveness.
The Macro 500 gummies by Psilouette are a delicious, nutritious and easily measurable way to enjoy a mushroom trip. Take half a gummy or less for a microdose, multiple gummies for an enhanced experience, or all 8 gummies (as I did) for an enjoyable fully psychaedelic trip or for a strong session of self-therapy. As always, take responsibility for directing your thoughts - particularly when under the influence of magic mushrooms, as they will be deeply enhanced.
I had an extremely moving and enjoyable experience which left me feeling stronger and more capable of laying down the emotional burdens I had been carrying.